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On child-rearing
Mar. 15th, 2010 03:16 amWhy am I talking about this?
I'm not a parent. I technically don't have the right to talk about this since I've never had to take care of a child.
But, I am someone else's kid. So, technically I SHOULD have the right to talk about this.
Earlier today at the mall, was sitting at the bench, waiting for some people to finish clothes-shopping (GAHH!!!), and then there's this mom that yells, "[INSERT NAME], GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" Then comes this little girl, probably around 5 or 6??? They were talking for a bit, not pleasant. The mom was obviously upset that the kid was wandering off, and the kid was trying to defend herself, somehow. And then she walked forward for a bit, then stops, then she looks at the mom for a while.
Then she starts running past her.
The mom rushes up to her, grabs her, then spanks her on the spot as she drags her down the mall.
The kid cried. End of the little snippet.
I also grew up in a family where they believe hitting a kid would set them right. But, being on that receiving end, it sucks. From what I know, my mom grew up in a very strict family, and she fucked up when she was a kid, but her parents didn't spank her.
When someone makes a mistake, it's only natural that they should learn why they did wrong. I think THAT is what's important.
Some people will argue that if you don't spank kids, they'll grow up running wild. "Spare the rod, spoil the child", right?
But, I think most parents spank because they don't know how to deal with kids. So, the only option, and possibly the easiest, is to scare kids into listening to their parents.
If you yell and hit your kid because you're angry at them running off, maybe there's a better chance that the kid won't run off next time. But, there's also a pretty good chance that the only reason why he/she isn't running off is because he/she's scared of that pain.
This is one possible mentality that kid will probably have: "The worst that will happen to me if I screw up is getting hit, so maybe I can just try to do things behind my parents' back. So long as I don't get caught, everything will be fine, right?"
Rather than being aware of WHY it's not good to wander off, ie. getting kidnapped, lost, and to an extreme, don't know how to survive on their own and run into all sorts of dangers, odds are, the kid will allow him/herself to commit the same mistake, so long as it's behind the parents' back.
I'm not saying that we should spare the rod or anything, but I think what really matters is if parents can successfully DRIVE important messages home to their kids.
"The reason why you shouldn't fuck up is that you'll earn a spanking if you do" <-I certainly hope you aren't still gonna spank your kids when you're old and in your 70's while they're in their 30's. Talk it out with them. Please. Kids will listen.
Just... don't feed kids with weird stories like my mom did. One of the things she told me when I was a kid was that, "If you step on books, books will curse you to be dumb", or "If you run off on your own, you'll be kidnapped, and then you'll get AIDS" <- um... yeah... she said that.
DISCLAIMER: Please do understand that I am very biased against spanking. If you feel otherwise, feel free to comment.
~Beautifully Grotesque and Grotesquely Beautiful~
I'm not a parent. I technically don't have the right to talk about this since I've never had to take care of a child.
But, I am someone else's kid. So, technically I SHOULD have the right to talk about this.
Earlier today at the mall, was sitting at the bench, waiting for some people to finish clothes-shopping (GAHH!!!), and then there's this mom that yells, "[INSERT NAME], GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" Then comes this little girl, probably around 5 or 6??? They were talking for a bit, not pleasant. The mom was obviously upset that the kid was wandering off, and the kid was trying to defend herself, somehow. And then she walked forward for a bit, then stops, then she looks at the mom for a while.
Then she starts running past her.
The mom rushes up to her, grabs her, then spanks her on the spot as she drags her down the mall.
The kid cried. End of the little snippet.
I also grew up in a family where they believe hitting a kid would set them right. But, being on that receiving end, it sucks. From what I know, my mom grew up in a very strict family, and she fucked up when she was a kid, but her parents didn't spank her.
When someone makes a mistake, it's only natural that they should learn why they did wrong. I think THAT is what's important.
Some people will argue that if you don't spank kids, they'll grow up running wild. "Spare the rod, spoil the child", right?
But, I think most parents spank because they don't know how to deal with kids. So, the only option, and possibly the easiest, is to scare kids into listening to their parents.
If you yell and hit your kid because you're angry at them running off, maybe there's a better chance that the kid won't run off next time. But, there's also a pretty good chance that the only reason why he/she isn't running off is because he/she's scared of that pain.
This is one possible mentality that kid will probably have: "The worst that will happen to me if I screw up is getting hit, so maybe I can just try to do things behind my parents' back. So long as I don't get caught, everything will be fine, right?"
Rather than being aware of WHY it's not good to wander off, ie. getting kidnapped, lost, and to an extreme, don't know how to survive on their own and run into all sorts of dangers, odds are, the kid will allow him/herself to commit the same mistake, so long as it's behind the parents' back.
I'm not saying that we should spare the rod or anything, but I think what really matters is if parents can successfully DRIVE important messages home to their kids.
"The reason why you shouldn't fuck up is that you'll earn a spanking if you do" <-I certainly hope you aren't still gonna spank your kids when you're old and in your 70's while they're in their 30's. Talk it out with them. Please. Kids will listen.
Just... don't feed kids with weird stories like my mom did. One of the things she told me when I was a kid was that, "If you step on books, books will curse you to be dumb", or "If you run off on your own, you'll be kidnapped, and then you'll get AIDS" <- um... yeah... she said that.
DISCLAIMER: Please do understand that I am very biased against spanking. If you feel otherwise, feel free to comment.
~Beautifully Grotesque and Grotesquely Beautiful~
